Everyday Life

Quick note: sorry I haven’t been posting lately, life has been so busy! Also I meant to post this days ago but our electricity has been out and it finally came on today. I could not be more serious when I tell you my whole class and I started screaming and jumping for joy when the lights turned on!!

Two weekends ago I traveled to another exciting place, Copan Ruins. I saw the amazing intricate work of the Mayans which was breathtaking. What isn’t in this country?! We didn’t have school last week Monday so we had an extra day to travel—we definitely needed it!! I didn’t have much planned last week since we spent the weekend traveling which made for a crazy/busy/insane school week. I don’t ever want to head into a week unplanned again!

This weekend a few Calvin students who are doing a study abroad program in Tegucigalpa visited La Union to see what our life is like. It was fun to be able to chat with Americans and play a little bit of “Dutch bingo”. When you combine the schools Calvin and Dordt you’re bound to have at least one connection. During their visit we had a lot of discussions about our life and work here. One of the questions asked was this: What were some difficult things you dealt with coming into La Union? Are you getting used to them? Are there things you can’t get used to?

I thought about this question for a bit. Funny that I even had to THINK what was difficult for me coming into La Union. As I replayed the first couple days—who am I kidding, the first couple WEEKS—I remembered all the things I was stressed out about. All of those small issues that I now am used to. Here is what I shared with the Calvin group:

The first few days, I freaked out. I had a meltdown or crying session at least once a day. I didn’t realize that this was going to be so difficult for me. But now as I look back on the things that made me upset, they are no longer a big deal. I don’t get upset when brown water comes out of my sink at least once a day. I’m used to climbing up a hill or climbing down a hill anywhere that I go, and by the end of the trip being soaked in sweat. It is normal for me to go home and wait 40 minutes for my room light to flicker on. I don’t try to wait for my bathroom light to come on or I’d be there for days. Since the bathroom light doesn’t work I usually am taking showers in the dark…scary when you’re shaving. I’m used to looking down at the ground whenever I walk somewhere. I expect children to yell “GRINGO” at me when I pass by. It isn’t weird for me to have to move off the road for the herd of cows that are coming through, it happens almost every morning on the walk to school. I don’t yell at the bus that wakes me up every morning at 5 when it drives LITERALLY inches from my window and honks its horn. I don’t shake my head at the church bells going off every hour; instead I count them to see what time it is. I actually almost ENJOY the 3 hour bus ride on dirt roads out of the mountains; even though I know the destination is only 25 miles away. There are loud fireworks I hear at random hours every day (last night it was 4:00AM and right next to my window) and I no longer mistake them as gunshots. It doesn’t faze me that it takes at least 50 minutes or more to make every single meal; I’m happy if the electricity stays on the entire time I cook. Every time I go to the bathroom I no longer have to remind myself: throw the toilet paper in the trash. I don’t consider myself lame to be crawling into bed at 8:30PM, even though you might. It’s just a nightly routine to check my bed for bugs that could eat me alive. I expect to hear a scream from Gayle every night when she finds a lizard or frog INSIDE her bed. When I walk home in the dark I don’t find it strange to pick up a rock to throw at the rabid dogs that come near me. I no longer feel completely defeated that it takes me 4 times to explain everything to my students. I’ve sometimes even responded to my students when they shout “MISS” at me. I am slowly getting used to the awkward silences that Hondurans have in the lull of conversations and they just sit there….staring at you. I understand there’s always a chance the internet at the school won’t work, and when it is ‘working’ it is the slowest internet I’ve experienced in my life.

But there is always going to be the standard things I can’t get used to while living here. I won’t get used to the fact I can’t see my family whenever I want. It still bothers me they are living their lives and I feel a world apart from them. I still don’t like the fact I have to pick two or three people that I want to call in a week and that it isn’t feasible to talk to everyone I love. I can’t get used having some weeks that are too busy I don’t have time to call anyone. I still get jealous when my friends are together and I know I can’t see them for a few more months. It makes me very sad there are friends I haven’t kept in touch with since I’ve been down here. It frustrates me that I used to be someone who always kept in contact with everyone and now it’s impossible. I also don’t think I’ll ever get used to the surprise of what my students don’t know. I found out this week one of my students can’t even count to twenty..no wonder she isn’t passing math. I also found out that one of my students doesn’t know the alphabet. I asked her to write a y and she wrote a w. She had no idea what the letter y was. It is hard to get used to being able to reach all learning levels in my classroom.So, yes, when you move to Honduras there are many things that are easy to get used to, but some things (a.k.a. being a world away from your loved ones) is a difficulty I can’t get used to. Missing you all this week.

Looking at my list, I feel good. When I first arrived I didn't know how I was going to get used to this life..but it happened! Here I am alive and doing quite well if I don’t say so myself. Even though I might be doing well, I can’t say the same for a lot of people at our school. Our principal’s wife, Esperanza, is suffering from intense migraines daily. They have been to every hospital in Honduras and can’t find what is wrong with her; it is a scary situation. Our secretary’s (Yesi) sister (Wendi) is suffering as well. Both of her kidneys are failing and there is nothing they can do about it. She is only 25 years old. Also a lady who is very important to this community and school (not to mention related to half of our school) is having her last days on Earth this week. She is dying from cancer. There is a lot of sadness, tears, and pain in everyone’s faces this week. Please keep everyone in your prayers.

Ya Queremos un Pastel

Last weekend I could feel myself getting antsy and excited..only a few more days until my birthday! I don’t know why birthdays are so exciting or special, but for some reason every single year when the end of September rolls around I get so stoked for my “special” day. This year was no exception; especially since I would be celebrating it like never before—Honduran style.

One thing I always love doing is making special treats for my birthday. Of course this year I wanted to keep the tradition and make something delicious for my students and friends. But every single time I thought of something to bake I had to rule it out. It is tough to come by baking ingredients in La Union. While pondering away, my sister Megan sends me a link from her pinterest. (NO I don’t have pinterest and I’m consumed with jealousy of those who have time to have an account.) This link just so happens to be a website full of recipes for cupcakes to die for. Of course there is a picture of each cupcake next to the recipe. That was it! I had had enough of day dreaming about amazing desserts. I became bound and determined to make something good. In fact, I was GOING to make one of those to-die-for cupcakes. Due to limited ingredients I had crossed off all of the cupcakes…except for one. Well banana cupcakes with maple frosting it was going to be. Now all I had to do was hunt down the ingredients.

Sunday I spent 7 hours at the school planning for the week ahead. The weeks before I had been staying after school working until 6 or so, but that was not happening this week, not on my birthday week! I felt exhausted but prepared for my busy week. 

Immediately after school on Monday I went into La Union on my search for the ingredients. My first stop at the “mini-super” was very successful. They had all the ingredients I needed accept for one. They even had powdered sugar so I would be able to make my frosting from scratch. There was only one ingredient left on my list, and I knew this one would be tricky. Bananas. This may sound absurd since I’m in Central America and bananas grow everywhere, but it isn’t easy!  They don’t always sell them at the normal pulparias that we shop at. To get bananas you have to ask people around town where to find them, and they’ll direct you to the house that contains the goods. This was also tricky since my translator Gayle wasn’t with me and my Spanish is atrocious. Well I had asked around, and I was directed to a little pulparia I had never even noticed before. I walked into the pulparia and of course no one is there. After a few Hola?’s later a man came into the store. I asked if he sold bananas there. He said something back which I didn’t understand, and then walked out the door. I stood there very confused what to do. Finally a lady showed up told me to follow her. She brought me to the back of the store which led to her back yard. Well it was a backyard/kitchen. All of the kitchen appliances were outside including a big cement patio. She brought me to these huge branches that had hundreds of bananas on them. My face lit up and so did hers—everyone likes making the gringos happy. I bought 20 bananas for 3 Lempira. Which in dollars would be about 10 cents?? I was stoked about the price. So as I’m about to walk out I look up and one of my students, Ana, is standing right there! She told me this was her house. I had just bought 20 bananas from her parents! It was so fun to see where she came from and connect with her parents. You should have seen their faces…beaming with pride.

I went home and made my banana cupcakes. Don’t worry Gayle and I tested them before I brought them to school..simply amazing. As I woke up on my birthday Tuesday morning, I opened my door to make coffee. Gayle quickly shouted “DON’T COME OUT OF YOUR ROOM!” The celebrations already were starting at 6:00AM. Gayle made me French toast, fresh watermelon, a cupcake, and coffee for my b-day breakfast. She had candles, balloons, and a birthday poem waiting for me at the table. Have I told you this girl is amazing? She ALSO blew up our coffee pot that morning, but that is a whole other story.

The minute I walk up to my classroom I was showered with hugs, kisses, and happy birthdays. When my students lined up to come inside they all started singing happy birthday to me. This continued to happen ALL DAY LONG. I have never felt so much love from so many people! I also don’t think I have ever had so many hugs and kisses all in one day! It made it easier to be away from my loved ones at home. There are people here that love me too! At the end of the day I played a game with my students and handed out my cupcakes. In my horror a couple of them didn’t even like it! I wasn’t too hurt—more for me. Most of them though said “mmmmm-mmmm, what is that in English?” Well of course, I taught them the word ‘delicious’. They have been using it ever since. (Funny because I taught my niece that word, and now she always uses it to describe good food.) One of my students, Carlos, and brought me a gift. I opened it..it was a pearl necklace. This maybe wouldn’t be a big deal but Carlos is one of our poorest students at the school. He lives in a dirt hut and probably has three shirts. But I accepted the gift—I figured it would be worse if I tried to give it back. Some other students informed me later that they would be coming to my house at 4 for a surprise. I didn’t think they were serious, since students have told us multiple times they are coming over and they never actually do.

I started walking home at 3:45. As I’m rounding the corner and going up the hill to my house I see a parade of my students. They were actually coming up to my house. When they spotted me they all started screaming and running towards me. They were holding a huge piñata! They had bought me a PINATA for my birthday!!! My students are amazing. Others were carrying bags of candy to put into the piñata, a 3 liter of soda, and birthday presents. Are these children really only in 3^rd grade? How did they organize something like this? It still amazes me.

I brought them all into my house to begin the festivities. We filled the piñata with candy and searched for a way to hang it up. I randomly found some string on the street in front of the house—that would work. I used the string and hung the piñata up on my window; hopefully that would be safe. We all took turns swinging at the piñata, and with my final blow the candy fell to the ground. We went back inside and “enjoyed” some banana soda (that is sarcasm if you couldn’t tell) opened presents, and played some games. I was so overjoyed, I couldn’t believe how thoughtful and loving my students were. The best part was that most of these students are the ones that struggle in school. They are the students who barely speak any English. It was comforting to know they still care about me even though I know I frustrate them Monday-Friday 7:00-2:40 with my different language.

After my students left all of the gringos in town came over. We had a delicious meal and THREE desserts. As the lights were turned off, candles lit, birthday cake brought out, and b-day song started my eyes rimmed with tears. God placed me in such an amazing community. Why did I ever think I would be lonely here? Everyone here is so caring, so loving, and so supportive. I could not be more thankful for such amazing people that were placed in my life. I went to bed extremely happy. It had been a one-of-a-kind birthday, that is for sure.

This weekend I am headed to the Copan Ruins. We don’t have school on Monday—WOOOOOO—so we are taking a mini-vaca. I’m excited to do another adventure. So 5:00AM bus tomorrow morning, here I come. 

La Ceiba

As always, there is so much to tell you about, but there are only so many paragraphs I can write until your eyes start to droop. I’ll try to make this as quick as possible.

Two weeks ago we had a THREE DAY WEEK! Woo!! Yes I love teaching, and this may sound crazy…but I love breaks as well! All the La Union teachers planned to leave on the 5AM bus heading to the coastal city of La Ceiba. After the last bell rang on Friday I sat behind my desk, so excited for vacation. One of my students came in carrying his weekly report. (Every Friday/last day of the week, we hand out grade reports that are sent home to the parents). Wilson scurries behind my desk with a grin splashed across his face. He holds up his A+ report, looks at me at says, “My father will be so proud.” He gave me a huge kiss on the cheek and skipped out of my classroom.  My heart melted. Maybe I really wasn’t ready for a vacation away from my students.

Ready or not, which our bus at 5AM wasn’t, we left La Union at 5:45 the next morning. You can imagine how elated I was when I waited outside for the bus at 5AM and it didn’t roll around the corner until 5:45. Early mornings are just so great. We took a 2 hour bus ride into Santa Barbara, got a quick bite to eat and hopped onto a bus that would bring us to San Pedro Sula. This bus had individual bucket seats—it was heavenly!!  In San Pedro we had to get on a bus to our final destination, La Ceiba. On the bus ride there I sat next to this Honduran girl. We talked the ENTIRE 3 ½ hour bus ride. Even though I don’t speak Spanish, and she doesn’t speak English. At least I can understand some Spanish. At one point her eyes were filled with tears and she was talking about her brother who was heavily involved in drugs. By the end of the trip she had given me crochete flower hair clips and a beaded bracelet. We left with a kiss, hug, and a new friendship. Amazing how far a smile and a little effort can take you.

Thirty minutes after arriving to La Ceiba we were checking into our hostel, The Jungle River Lodge. The hostel is built right along side of the Congrejal River and is in the middle of the Pico Bonito jungle forest. We were surrounded by tropical green plants and trees, and all the tropical animals that come along with it. The river was literally 20 feet away from our bedroom. The trick is, in order to get down to the river you needed to jump off the face of a cliff. We quickly changed into our bathing suits and were ready to start our adventurous weekend.  We walked to the edge of the cliff and looked over. My whole body went weak and my heart jumped to my throat. How in the world am I going to jump this far off a cliff…and into a river nonetheless!! As usual I made Gayle go first, I didn’t want to be the guinea pig ;) After seeing her safely land, I thought ‘it’s now or never’ and leaped off the edge. It was definitely a long enough fall that I was thinking about how far I was falling—a pretty big thrill. After all of us jumped off the cliff a few times we all were thinking, ‘Yeah we’re going to conquer the world!!’

After a peaceful night of sleep (and sleeping in until 8!!) we woke up and got ready for our day trip of white water rafting. There was a group of about 15 of us who spent the morning swimming through the Congrejal River, jumping off more cliffs, and having a crash course in white water rafting. Eleanor, Gayle, Anna and I were in a raft together with our amazing guide. During our crash course we practiced falling out and having our partner rescue us. After the guide had convinced Gayle she needed to get me out of the water by pulling on my hair not my life jacket, I decided falling out just wasn’t an option. :)  Just kidding Gayle I had total faith in you!

We started rafting down the Congrejal….absolutely breathtaking. Next to the river were huge walls of rocks, and above that were huge walls of the Pico Bonito jungle. As soon as we started our journey down the river, a warm jungle rain started to pour down on us. Rafting down a picturesque river while watching rain relinquish the Earth around us was a chilling experience. I couldn’t stop smiling, thanking God for the path he has chosen for me. The common phrase of the day was, “I LOVE MY LIFE!” 

When we finished rafting it was only 11:30. We couldn’t believe we had done so many amazing things in such a short time. We packed our bags, bid our goodbyes, and headed downtown La Ceiba. Man it felt goooood to be in a city. That night we met up with the other teachers from Gracias and ate an amaaazing non-Honduran meal. It is always great to see the other teachers and be able to catch up!

The next day we got up at 7AM and climbed into a very un-reliable taxicab that brought us to Sambo Creek. Our taxicab’s windshield was completely cracked, and literally caving into the car. Good thing everyone here are super safe drivers!  When we arrived in Sambo Creek I got out of the car and took a deep breath—the ocean was near. I quickened my steps and caught my first glance of the most amazing view.

The last time I had been to the ocean was in June with my family in California. Yes, I am a mountain girl and would pick living next to a mountain over a beach any day, but I forgot how much I missed the ocean. There is something about listening to the waves crashing, smelling the salty air, and feeling the sand seep between your toes that gets to you. As the waves washed over my feet and pulled back into the ocean again, I felt like it was teasing me saying ‘come on already, let’s play.’ And play we did.

We climbed into a tiny boat with our Orab orange life jackets and sailed off into the middle of the ocean. Somewhere in that big ole’ ocean are these tiny islands called Cayos Cachinos. They. Are. Perfection. We spent the majority of the morning on two different tiny islands. We went swimming, snorkeling, and laid out. The water was an amazing aqua blue color. Once again we kept telling each other, ‘WE LOVE OUR LIVES.’ Everywhere direction we looked was filled with insane beauty, it almost seemed fake. 

The last island we went to was where we ate our fish lunch. The fish came with all the skin and bones intact. If you know me at all, you would know I would be very dramatic at this point, pull up my nose, and say ‘yeah I ‘m not eating that.’ It’s just not an option to be bratty and dramatic in Honduras. I ate the whole fish-yes even the skin- and it was absolutely delicious. After taking a few more pictures, and randomly running into a lady who knows Dordt College and students who attend Dordt College (SMALL WORLD), we got in our little boat and headed back to the main land.

But of course this is Honduras and nothing is ever that simple. On our ride back to the mainland it started to thunderstorm and there were water spouts on either side of us, very close to us. I wasn’t nervous until I saw the look of terror on our Honduran guide’s face. Whenever you see a Honduran scared, you know you should be scared too. At this point our boat’s engine decided to break down; pretty convenient. Thankfully we got to this shore in the middle of nowhere, and another boat had to come to rescue us. We got back into the tiny car with a broken windshield, and noticed something had been added to the car since we had left it. There was an empty liquor bottle sitting in the center council---I felt so safe. But here I am, alive and well. 

That night we went grocery shopping and stared at all the dairy products in awe. It took all of my strength to not rip the top off of the cottage cheese container and start downing it. Instead Gayle and I opted for fruit that wouldn’t go bad on our trip back AND chocolate chips.

Our trip back started at a bright and early 5AM. I slept the whole way to San Pedro Sula. Definitely can’t say the same about the bus ride to Santa Barbara..I’ve never seen that many people on a bus before. I was so claustrophobic. Good thing I have Gayle and we can chat each other’s ears off. As we rolled into La Union a smile crept on my face. It felt good to be home. I loved being able to travel and experience something new; but to be honest, La Union is the most beautiful place of them all. I’m lucky to call it my home.

Coming home from a trip to civilization, it is easy for me to be jealous and wanting all of the conveniences in a city. As I opened up my devotional Monday morning this is what I read: “The world pulls your thoughts down, away from heaven. It makes you crave fun for the sake of fun. It makes you want to own everything you see. Shut out the world for a while so you can enjoy My Presence. Yes, you live in this world, but don’t let it become your life. I am Life.” Every morning God speaks to me through these journals. He bounces me back into reality…I love His marvelous ways.

Resting Up

It is absolutely beautiful here today. The sun keeps peeking out from the clouds, the mountains are covered with luscious trees, and there is a cool mountain breeze that ruffles your hair. It is awesome to be able to sit outside and not feel the sweat dripping down your back. I’m at the school using the internet. You’d think I’d be sick of being at the school since I’m here during the week, but it is so peaceful and serene. The view isn’t too bad either I guess.

During the week, the school atmosphere is quite opposite! The classrooms are right next to each other, and the classroom doors and windows are always open. I can usually hear Miss Gayle two classrooms down laying down the law with her notorious 5^th graders! ;) Just kidding Gayle, I can only hear you sometimes. :) But seriously during the day the school grounds are loud and crazy! It is in the Honduran culture to be a little bit louder, talkative, and active in and outside of the classroom. This is something I definitely need to get used to! As a teacher, I usually like to have a VERY controlled classroom and I am pretty strict with my students. I definitely need to change that here….it is just not possible! Every time someone raises their hand they scream Miss Miss Miss!! Which in their accent comes out as Meeeees Meeeees Meeees!!! I swear at least 100 times I tell them, NO MEEES!!! Its Miss Van Dyke, Miss with the short i!! A few days after correcting them 100 times a day, I was on a walk through the town with Gayle and I ran into one of my students and he told me ‘Hi Miss Van Dyke’. Gayle turned to me and said, “Wow he spoke your name perfectly!” I just smiled.

The past few days have been amazing. Just proves that when you lean on God, he can give you strength. And as always, the amazing days completely outweigh the scattered frustrating days. I’m blessed to have a class that constantly shows their love to me. Whenever I walk somewhere I will literally have 3 students trying to hang onto my waist while I’m holding hands with another 2 students. They still don’t understand the concept that we won’t fit into a doorway unless they let go of me and walk in before or after me. But I’m not complaining they love me. One of my students always writes I LOVE MISS VAN DYKE in his notebook. So whenever I come to his desk to check his work I always see his profession of love for me! That should brighten any teacher’s day.

On Friday it was a national holiday in Honduras called Dia Del Ninos, or Children’s Day. All I can say…it was absolute mayhem. Screaming children with very disorganized games for 4 ½ hours. All the students were allowed to wear colored shirts to school and jeans. It was very interesting because you could definitely tell which students are dirt poor and which students come from money.  I found out one of my students lives in a 1 room hut with his sister and mom.  The outfit he wore to school on Friday is most likely one of his 3 shirts he owns. So so hard to imagine a life like that. Just confirms why we need uniforms at this school.

All of the games played on Friday were fun but chaotic and disorganized. I am someone who always needs structure with a PLAN. Just take a look at my closet; I organize everything by its color and season. My sister Megan gets so annoyed with me because I will literally get in a bad mood if something is disorganized. Here in Honduras I’m learning to let go and let things fall into place…it’s difficult but definitely good for me. Maybe I’ll be more disorganized than you, Megan, by the time I get back!

School ended at 11:20 Friday and my students left with a bang..literally! We hung up a piñata in the hallway. Each of my students took a turn beating the life out of the piñata while every time a kid wound his arm back to take a swing I was praying no one would be killed! Candy falling from the sky does not make children aware of huge sticks swinging at their heads. My students left school on a sugar high, while I left with a splintering head ache. It was a fun but long morning.

I stayed in La Union this weekend to relax and regenerate. Some people traveled to Santa Barbara and Lago De Yajoa, but I was not feeling up to it. I was still feeling weak from my sickness earlier in the week. It was good to be able to use the internet at the school and Skype with family and friends. On Saturday night I made the mistake and watched the movie Chocolat…it only made me want to jump in a lake of chocolate and eat my life away! Ok, that’s dramatic, but I really do miss chocolate a lot! As my brother-in-law Thomas said to me, “Spoken like a true woman.”

Tomorrow I start the third week of school! I can’t believe it has been so long already. We only have a 3 day week which is nice. On Thursday we plan to travel to the coast to a town called La Ceiba. I’m excited to travel and vacation for a few days. I know it is still warm in the U.S. so I don’t have the bragging rights quite yet of me laying on a beach while you all are freezing your butts off, but that day will come soon enough. ;)  You can just brag to me of all the amazing food your eating and we’ll call it even.. sound good?? 

My first week as a teacher has already been finished. It’s a strange feeling knowing this was my first week as a teacher, the profession I will do for the rest of my life (God willing). It has also been the craziest emotional roller coaster week ever. I’m not usually someone who cries just about anything, I have to be pretty upset or sad to set off my waterworks. Judging by my actions at school this week, none of the teachers would believe that statement. I can honestly say it’s been one of the most difficult, frustrating, and eye-opening weeks of my life.

We’ll start with the first day of school. My students were all waiting by my door when I arrived at the school. One thing I can say about my students, they are SO adorable. They are in the 3^rd grade, but they’re Honduran, so they’re naturally a lot smaller than any 3^rd grader in the U.S. We opened the day with an introduction of all the teachers and an opening prayer. At this point I oddly wasn’t even nervous. That changed quickly as I walked into my room and realized half of them don’t speak a word of English. I had planned to make the rules of the classroom WITH my students, and talk about what rules they thought were good to have, which ones were unnecessary. That also changed quickly when I realized 80% of the students didn’t understand what it meant when I said “sit down”. I laid out my basic rules of the classroom:

1.      1.  Only speak in English. (Extremely unrealistic when they don’t KNOW English)

2.       2. Raise your hand when you want to talk. (I wish they knew what ‘raise your hand’ meant)

3.       3. Respect your classmates. (Finally SORT-of got the point across when I said be nice)

4.       4. Use recess time to go to the bathroom, sharpen your pencil, and get a drink. (Didn’t stop them from asking me for all three things every 2 minutes cada dia)

Before the first day of school I had planned the first two weeks of classes. I was proud of myself, I had a plan and I was going to stick to it. Once again, those plans changed in an instant when I realized they didn’t know English. For example, in reading I was supposed to review all the vowels and their sounds. My students didn’t even know what the short a sound was. In Language I was supposed to review what a complete sentence was—most if not all of my students can’t even SPEAK a full sentence! Instead I started with what is a noun, a week later on that topic and I think half the class understands what it is. As you can see, this week did not go as I planned. The curriculum I was given to use was a 3^rd grade curriculum—which would be AWESOME if they were at that level but they aren’t even CLOSE to a 1^st grade level of English.

One of the most important things you should know as a teacher is this: Don’t ever give the student something that is too difficult for them. Always, always, ALWAYS build off of what they already know. What do I do with the students who are supposed to be learning 3^rd grade material and they know zero English? During History class one day I was supposed to be telling them who Christopher Columbus was, but after 30 minutes of trying to explain what a ship, ocean, and sailing was (literally only those three words for 30 minutes) I just looked at them and my eyes filled with tears. How am I supposed to teach these children when they don’t even know the simplest English vocabulary?? I let my students take out paper to draw a picture in order to save my sanity. 

After school I told Jake, “We need to sit down and talk.” That is when the waterworks started. Poor Jake, he is always the person I am freaking out to, I am always laying out my stress on him. So here I was sobbing telling him everything that was frustrating me. How will my students learn English when they don’t even have a base of English?? How can I tell my students what to do when they don’t speak English? How can I answer my students questions when they only know how to speak Spanish and I do not understand Spanish? How can I follow the curriculum when the students can’t even comprehend the 2^nd grade review section?? How are my students supposed to read English textbooks when they don’t even have children’s books to start with?? How am I supposed to help individuals and know their needs when they can’t even process the phrase ‘do you understand?’ How do I explain words such as what, why, where, who, when, say, ask, etc. to the students? How do I teach Basic English skills to these students when I have absolutely no resources? As a teacher, I have never felt so much failure and defeat. I feel like I am being a disservice to my students. Every single day I have multiple students crying with their heads on their desks, frustrated. They want to do the school work but they can’t because they don’t understand my instructions. I can’t even try to explain it to them in simple terms because they don’t even understand simple vocabulary. I try to SHOW these students what to do, but that is hard when its 10 of my students and I don’t have TIME to help each one individually. Sure I could have one of the students try to explain it in Spanish, but when do I stop them from doing that? Eventually they will need to learn what I am saying.

 After a few bucketful of tears later, Jake and I made a plan of attack. We altogether scratched my history class. Why they need to learn American History was beyond me anyways! Instead I am going to teach them an ESL course to help build their vocabulary and extend their conversational skills. Also we decided I would be teaching them science, but I only need to focus on the basic vocabulary in each lesson. This is good but also stressful since this means I can’t use the already-made tests in the book—I’ll be creating them all on my own…...one more thing to do. Jake assured me this is always a rough week for everyone, and promised that it will keep getting better, and honestly I know he is right. I have to trust that God knows what he is doing putting me in these children’s lives. I have to trust these students will learn from me.

The thing I am struggling with now is the technique I’m going to use to teach them. From first grade, these students are learning in hard wooden desks and are sitting in them for 7 hours a day. I tried setting up a “group time” with a reading corner. I bought a blanket that I’m using as a rug. When I try having the students sit there it’s horrible. I’m constantly telling them to stop lying down, stop touching each other, and to listen to what I’m saying. They can’t handle the different learning atmosphere. But then when I put them in their desks they get sore bums and are always looking for an excuse to leave. During my 4 years of elementary education classes I was drilled with the idea “make sure to expand off of the curriculum, reach all of the students learning styles”. How do I apply that to my students when all they know how to do is to sit in their tiny desk while taking notes in their notebook? This also is difficult since a lot of my students only have 1 notebook for 9 subjects. How do I make learning fun when I have absolutely no resources? All I want is to be a good teacher for these students, but I don’t know how. IF ANYONE HAS IDEAS…..now is a great time to share. :)

After this week I realized more than ever why weekends are necessary. I needed time to relax, time to pray, time to decompress, and time to think of things other than school. This weekend the La Union girls went to Gracias on the 5AM bus Saturday morning. We stayed at a hotel (7 dollars for one night), went grocery shopping, and we’re able to hang out with the other teachers in Gracias. It was so great to catch up with them and swap stories. It was also great to be in an area of civilization. But I can honestly say after spending my weekend there I am very thankful I am teaching in La Union. Don’t get me wrong, Gracias is beautiful and there are some amazing teachers there! But there is something special about La Union. The community here is amazing. I feel loved and welcomed by all the Hondurans I’m surrounded by. Before coming here I prayed about a lot of things, but what I prayed about most is that I would be able to fit into my new home. I thank God every single day for answering that prayer. I have made so many close friendships already with not only the gringos here but also the Hondurans. God obviously knew what he was doing when he told me to come here for a year. I may have my frustrations with school and teaching, but when it comes down to it, I am blessed.

So here we are starting our second week of school. Well, I should say everyone else started except for me. Let’s just say these are the AM church bells I heard Monday: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, & 8. While hearing these bells I was hugging the toilet bowl and lying on my blue tiled floor. Yes family I can hear you laughing! To the rest of you, no my family isn't laughing at me being sick. Just a family joke that whenever I feel nauseous I would lay on my parent’s bathroom floor…which may or may not have been frequent. Now I have my own bathroom floor to lie on! But I am feeling much, much better.

I was bummed to miss school Monday since we had government officials visiting our school. I heard it was quite the spectacle. They flew in on helicopters and landed on our soccer field! A helicopter in little La Union..so odd. The officials wanted to check out our school since really there is none of its kind in Honduras. Oh yes there are many Vida Abudante schools throughout Honduras and yes there are many other bilingual schools, but La Union is different. La Union is a bilingual school that cannot support itself but it is still surviving. I would say 80% if not more of my students are sponsored. For our students and school to be supported year after year is something else. That is why the government officials thought they would stop on by! Life is crazy here.

Every day I would get done with school absolutely exhausted and drained. I would check my mail and always there is someone giving me words of encouragement. I just want to say THANK-YOU!!!!! You have no idea how much all of them help me!! God knows that I need all of you to keep going, keep working. Sorry I don’t always reply, but my time is limited. Know that you’re appreciated and loved. :)