My first week as a teacher has already been finished. It’s a strange feeling knowing this was my first week as a teacher, the profession I will do for the rest of my life (God willing). It has also been the craziest emotional roller coaster week ever. I’m not usually someone who cries just about anything, I have to be pretty upset or sad to set off my waterworks. Judging by my actions at school this week, none of the teachers would believe that statement. I can honestly say it’s been one of the most difficult, frustrating, and eye-opening weeks of my life.
We’ll start with the first day of school. My students were all waiting by my door when I arrived at the school. One thing I can say about my students, they are SO adorable. They are in the 3rd grade, but they’re Honduran, so they’re naturally a lot smaller than any 3rd grader in the U.S. We opened the day with an introduction of all the teachers and an opening prayer. At this point I oddly wasn’t even nervous. That changed quickly as I walked into my room and realized half of them don’t speak a word of English. I had planned to make the rules of the classroom WITH my students, and talk about what rules they thought were good to have, which ones were unnecessary. That also changed quickly when I realized 80% of the students didn’t understand what it meant when I said “sit down”. I laid out my basic rules of the classroom:
1. 1. Only speak in English. (Extremely unrealistic when they don’t KNOW English)
2. 2. Raise your hand when you want to talk. (I wish they knew what ‘raise your hand’ meant)
3. 3. Respect your classmates. (Finally SORT-of got the point across when I said be nice)
4. 4. Use recess time to go to the bathroom, sharpen your pencil, and get a drink. (Didn’t stop them from asking me for all three things every 2 minutes cada dia)
Before the first day of school I had planned the first two weeks of classes. I was proud of myself, I had a plan and I was going to stick to it. Once again, those plans changed in an instant when I realized they didn’t know English. For example, in reading I was supposed to review all the vowels and their sounds. My students didn’t even know what the short a sound was. In Language I was supposed to review what a complete sentence was—most if not all of my students can’t even SPEAK a full sentence! Instead I started with what is a noun, a week later on that topic and I think half the class understands what it is. As you can see, this week did not go as I planned. The curriculum I was given to use was a 3rd grade curriculum—which would be AWESOME if they were at that level but they aren’t even CLOSE to a 1st grade level of English.
One of the most important things you should know as a teacher is this: Don’t ever give the student something that is too difficult for them. Always, always, ALWAYS build off of what they already know. What do I do with the students who are supposed to be learning 3rd grade material and they know zero English? During History class one day I was supposed to be telling them who Christopher Columbus was, but after 30 minutes of trying to explain what a ship, ocean, and sailing was (literally only those three words for 30 minutes) I just looked at them and my eyes filled with tears. How am I supposed to teach these children when they don’t even know the simplest English vocabulary?? I let my students take out paper to draw a picture in order to save my sanity.
After school I told Jake, “We need to sit down and talk.” That is when the waterworks started. Poor Jake, he is always the person I am freaking out to, I am always laying out my stress on him. So here I was sobbing telling him everything that was frustrating me. How will my students learn English when they don’t even have a base of English?? How can I tell my students what to do when they don’t speak English? How can I answer my students questions when they only know how to speak Spanish and I do not understand Spanish? How can I follow the curriculum when the students can’t even comprehend the 2nd grade review section?? How are my students supposed to read English textbooks when they don’t even have children’s books to start with?? How am I supposed to help individuals and know their needs when they can’t even process the phrase ‘do you understand?’ How do I explain words such as what, why, where, who, when, say, ask, etc. to the students? How do I teach Basic English skills to these students when I have absolutely no resources? As a teacher, I have never felt so much failure and defeat. I feel like I am being a disservice to my students. Every single day I have multiple students crying with their heads on their desks, frustrated. They want to do the school work but they can’t because they don’t understand my instructions. I can’t even try to explain it to them in simple terms because they don’t even understand simple vocabulary. I try to SHOW these students what to do, but that is hard when its 10 of my students and I don’t have TIME to help each one individually. Sure I could have one of the students try to explain it in Spanish, but when do I stop them from doing that? Eventually they will need to learn what I am saying.
After a few bucketful of tears later, Jake and I made a plan of attack. We altogether scratched my history class. Why they need to learn American History was beyond me anyways! Instead I am going to teach them an ESL course to help build their vocabulary and extend their conversational skills. Also we decided I would be teaching them science, but I only need to focus on the basic vocabulary in each lesson. This is good but also stressful since this means I can’t use the already-made tests in the book—I’ll be creating them all on my own…...one more thing to do. Jake assured me this is always a rough week for everyone, and promised that it will keep getting better, and honestly I know he is right. I have to trust that God knows what he is doing putting me in these children’s lives. I have to trust these students will learn from me.
The thing I am struggling with now is the technique I’m going to use to teach them. From first grade, these students are learning in hard wooden desks and are sitting in them for 7 hours a day. I tried setting up a “group time” with a reading corner. I bought a blanket that I’m using as a rug. When I try having the students sit there it’s horrible. I’m constantly telling them to stop lying down, stop touching each other, and to listen to what I’m saying. They can’t handle the different learning atmosphere. But then when I put them in their desks they get sore bums and are always looking for an excuse to leave. During my 4 years of elementary education classes I was drilled with the idea “make sure to expand off of the curriculum, reach all of the students learning styles”. How do I apply that to my students when all they know how to do is to sit in their tiny desk while taking notes in their notebook? This also is difficult since a lot of my students only have 1 notebook for 9 subjects. How do I make learning fun when I have absolutely no resources? All I want is to be a good teacher for these students, but I don’t know how. IF ANYONE HAS IDEAS…..now is a great time to share. :)
After this week I realized more than ever why weekends are necessary. I needed time to relax, time to pray, time to decompress, and time to think of things other than school. This weekend the La Union girls went to Gracias on the 5AM bus Saturday morning. We stayed at a hotel (7 dollars for one night), went grocery shopping, and we’re able to hang out with the other teachers in Gracias. It was so great to catch up with them and swap stories. It was also great to be in an area of civilization. But I can honestly say after spending my weekend there I am very thankful I am teaching in La Union. Don’t get me wrong, Gracias is beautiful and there are some amazing teachers there! But there is something special about La Union. The community here is amazing. I feel loved and welcomed by all the Hondurans I’m surrounded by. Before coming here I prayed about a lot of things, but what I prayed about most is that I would be able to fit into my new home. I thank God every single day for answering that prayer. I have made so many close friendships already with not only the gringos here but also the Hondurans. God obviously knew what he was doing when he told me to come here for a year. I may have my frustrations with school and teaching, but when it comes down to it, I am blessed.
So here we are starting our second week of school. Well, I should say everyone else started except for me. Let’s just say these are the AM church bells I heard Monday: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, & 8. While hearing these bells I was hugging the toilet bowl and lying on my blue tiled floor. Yes family I can hear you laughing! To the rest of you, no my family isn't laughing at me being sick. Just a family joke that whenever I feel nauseous I would lay on my parent’s bathroom floor…which may or may not have been frequent. Now I have my own bathroom floor to lie on! But I am feeling much, much better.
I was bummed to miss school Monday since we had government officials visiting our school. I heard it was quite the spectacle. They flew in on helicopters and landed on our soccer field! A helicopter in little La Union..so odd. The officials wanted to check out our school since really there is none of its kind in Honduras. Oh yes there are many Vida Abudante schools throughout Honduras and yes there are many other bilingual schools, but La Union is different. La Union is a bilingual school that cannot support itself but it is still surviving. I would say 80% if not more of my students are sponsored. For our students and school to be supported year after year is something else. That is why the government officials thought they would stop on by! Life is crazy here.
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