Anywhere you live, whether it is in the United States or Honduras, you are bound to have bad weeks. Last week was one of those weeks for me. I started off the week being really homesick: the holidays are coming up, it was my sister’s birthday, and I had a new niece born (Poppy Jo..and she is the CUTEST little girl ever). It is always difficult to snap out of your homesick moods and for it to not affect your days.
The cutest girl around: Poppy Jo
(Picture taken by Valerie Steffy)
Last week my students needed and abundance of help, attention, and love. There was never a time where they worked on their own for more than two minutes. All my students constantly had questions. I swear there were hands raised every minute of the day. I tempted to say “You can’t ask any more questions, just figure it out!” It’s difficult to have my students work on their own when they literally can’t comprehend the written directions. Written instructions don’t mean anything to my students; instead I have to physically act out every single step..four or five times. After this I usually have 5 students who still don’t understand. At least I have a break at recess and lunch right? Nope. Every break I have students surrounding me; they practice their English, tickle me, sit on my lap, play with my hair, or even just hold onto me. You can imagine after a few days of this, I feel emotionally and physically drained. Days like these I keep reminding myself my students NEED this love from me, they NEED to learn from me, they NEED my attention. And on the plus side, at least I know my students love, respect, and care for me. I could not be more grateful for that.
And that is why I have always wanted to teach 3rd grade or below: they almost always love their teacher and disrespect doesn’t come easily. Once you reach grades 5-8 children start to get an attitude. Some teachers have a gift for dealing with students in this age group..bless their souls. I’m not one of those people, and last week proved so.
Every Wednesday we have a devotional with 1st-6th grade. The students have to sit on hard benches for an hour singing songs and listening to a Bible story. Last week Wednesday our 6th grade class was being extremely disrespectful during devotional. They were clapping off-beat to screw up everyone’s rhythm, they were hitting each other, talking while the speaker was presenting, etc. When students behave this way, it makes my blood boil. I went over by them and told them to be quiet. All the girls looked at me as if I was ridiculous and started laughing at me. One boy was poking all of his fellow classmates and would not stop. I literally had to put my arm around him in order for him to quit. I stayed by them the rest of the devotional while they continued to look at me and laugh every time I told them to stop talking. I kept them behind after devotional to talk about what it is to be respectful. Finally after my 10 minute lecture I no longer had girls laughing in my face.
Two days later I was working on grading papers after school. I watched Gayle and Eleanor run out through the gate to our school. There were a bunch of boys standing by the gate, and as Gayle and Eleanor ran past, a few of them started barking and howling at them. (This is something that gross Honduran men will do to women in place of whistling at them) I was appalled boys were barking at them, but I figured they were students from the public school. Ten minutes later I started my walk home. As I neared our school gate, I noticed the boys standing by the gate were OUR 6th and 7th grade students; which means OUR students were the ones barking/howling at Gayle and Eleanor. I didn’t want to believe that our students would do something like that, so I thought to myself I must have heard them wrong. As I walked by I said goodbye to the boys. I was halfway down the hill when they started to bark and howl at me. I felt the anger inside of me leap 10 notches. I immediately turned around and RAN up the hill to those boys. No way were these boys getting away with BARKING at me, how rude! I reached the boys and started to hand it to them. I told them it was completely disrespectful to bark at a teacher and I NEVER wanted to hear them do that to me ever again. One of them looked at me and gave a snide reply, “I don’t know what it’s like in your country, but in this country it’s not disrespectful to bark at a teacher.” Umm…excuse me?? I was beyond furious at this point. Not only were they barking at me, they also were saying that wasn’t disrespectful! I was done arguing at this point. I could feel tears building up, so I just walked away.
I had never felt so disrespected before all in one week. I hate being the person who is always yelling at the students, correcting their behavior. It annoys me that I get upset about their behavior and that it turns me into an angry person. Who wants to be the crabby teacher all the kids talk about? Who wants to be the teacher that the students say, “Oh watch out, here comes Miss Van Dyke!” I feel like it is so difficult to earn their respect. Every time I try to be nice, I feel like it’s an excuse for them to misbehave.
I have to keep reminding myself, I was once in grade school. I know for a fact I was not always nice to my teachers. I know I gave people attitude when I was that same age. I remember what it is like being a young teenager and trying to act “cool” in front of my friends. I need to remind myself I still have to love them no matter how they act towards me. I still need to keep trying to be a nice, loving, fun teacher—no matter what students I’m around. Even though it is so difficult, I can’t take their actions personally. It is just that much more necessary for me to rise above and be a better role model for these students to look up to. Pray for me that I will have the patience and strength to do this!
This week has been a lot better. It is only a THREE-DAY week which is so awesome. We are leaving on Thursday for Tegucigalpa to celebrate Thanksgiving. It will be fun change to be in a city around restaurants, a mall, and stay in a nice hotel! I have been teaching my students Christmas songs, which we both have been enjoying a lot. :) It is never too early to start celebrating Christmas! ;)
Of course in school you always need to come up with one thing that you are thankful for. Here’s mine for this year:
I am so extremely thankful for all the people that keep me in their prayers!
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